A Bag of Mixed Feelings...

Mixed feelings, like mixed drinks, are a confusion to the soul. - George Carman

Stage1Racing's Homepage

The ebb and flow of life is interesting; racing is no different. Some weekends we racers face insurmountable obstacles, some weekends everything just works out effortlessly. But, just like in life outside of racing, luck rewards those who don't give up. Some weekends are ebbs, some are flows. This weekend had the ebb of disappointment and flow of pleasure similar to that of the ocean tide at a Santa Cruz beach.

I just started the fall semester recently, and the chaotic schedule of school, work, and gym left me with little sleep and a strange sleep schedule. This is not to conducive to having to get up at 6am for racing and not being tired in the middle of the afternoon races. This led to morning practice being a little ... sluggish. I came into the weekend looking to hit 1:57s and the way morning was starting out, I wasn't sure if I would have it in me. It was bad enough that I was a little dusty eyed, but I was also running on tires which I had to pull out of my scrap tire pile in my garage. They were about a year old and had no tread left. My budget wouldn't allow me to change my rear tires until right before the first race. I was definitely in an undercurrent of ebb at this point.

I needed to miss my 4th and final practice session in order to have enough time to get new tires on the bike before my first race, clubman middleweight, which is also the first race of the weekend. While my girlfriend, Georgia, and I are hanging out at the Michelin tent waiting for my tire change, Warren Williams #719 comes zipping by on his pit bike yelling at me that the strong wind had taken down my pit set-up. I quickly turn to Georgia to go take care of it because I needed to grab the wheels when they are ready so I can get everything ready in time. When I get back to my pit area I can see that my canopy had been flipped over, ripped to top, and bent the frame. Fortunately, it did not hit the bike and knock it off of its stands; with no wheels on the bike it would have created a lot of damage. A little ebb (wind destruction of pit area) and an even smaller amount of flow (canopy didn't take down canopy in its wake of carnage).

Clubman Middleweight

I take the grid for the middleweight race and a feeling of nerves come over be which I haven't felt since my first race. My gut twinged, my arms and fingers shook, my legs quivered holding back the bike from launching early. Is this a good nervousness because I am going to get the podium finish I am looking for? Or is this the feeling one gets before something tragic happens. Suddenly the green flag drops and everything I am here to do comes rushing back.

My start was ok, I fell form 5th on the grid to 7th by turn 2. I fell victim to the usual off the line talent of Genki Hagata #934 who now sits in front of me. I try to set up a line to pass him in the 3-4 complex, but Jason Smith #437 had the same idea with me and came around the outside of me at the apex of turn 3 forcing me to subside my efforts. The next few laps I keep poking my front tire into turns trying to find where I can get by Jason, who is holding me up. Finally, on the third lap I made my way by Jason and had Genki in the distance. I try to put my head down and leave Jason in the distance, running some of my fastest laps ever. Once I come up on Genki and get a good run out of 15 into the straightaway, I look over and see Georgia signaling me that someone is on my ass! Apparently, in my efforts to run away from Jason after passing him, I managed to inspire him and drag him along with me.

Our three-way battle continues until the last lap as the three of us come up on #771 Sergio Fernandez. When the white flag comes out, I see someone signing to Sergio that we are coming up fast. I quickly begin to calculate how I am going to use Sergio holding up Genki to get around the both of them while blocking Jason from doing the same to me. Then running up the hill out of turn 4 into 5 I see what Genki is planning, and know he is not going to make the pass in 5 he is hoping to make. I back off for a moment to leave a cushion, and sit to the inside to hold up Jason from passing. Genki ends up getting the door shut on him and has to sit it up, leading him into the sand off the side of the hill at turn 5. Coming down the hill, I prayed that his bike was not coming down the hill on our side and directly at the two of us - that would be messy. I used this chance to try and once again pull from Jason. By the time I reach turn 10, I have Sergio just in front of me in 4th place in striking distance. I want to make a move on him going into 11, but my plan is foiled by a yellow flag brought out for #756 George Myshlyayevnbeknownst to me at the time) Jason all the way to the right. We come across the line three abreast and I find myself int he middle of the three of us, losing the battle to the podium by .076 seconds to Sergio, and beating Jason by .049!!! I took 4th out of 22, with a best time of 1:58.583 - cutting my best on a 600 in a race at thunderhill by 2 seconds! I really wish I had bothered to hook up my camera for this one.


Clubman Heavyweight

On the cool down lap from the middleweight race my motor suddenly stops revving above 8000 rpm and is making no power! I pull back into my pit and begin pulling apart my bike to try and create a quick fix to make it out to my next race. I get the bike back together in time for the race and begin to hope it all works out, I really need this race after already having a DNS from the infineon round which I wrecked out early in the first race. I go out for my warm up lap, and after two turns, I raise my hand in dismay... I can't run this race. I am ecstatic about running a 1:58, but I am in the dumps about missing the HW race, I don't know yet know how to feel about finishing 4th/losing 3rd.

Saturday night after the races had finished, I spent some time taking apart the bike and fixing the problem. Unfortunately, the only fix I could do at the track was a fix which would not be ideal. I was able to get the bike to operate and give some power in the top-end of the rpm range, but it killed the bottom and mid-range. But it was either run and get some points, or go home and get nothing.


750 Superbike

First race Sunday was the 750 superbike race. I gridded on the outside in position 11, row 3 - not too bad. I didn't yet know how well the motor run run at speed, nor how the start would go - a dangerous proposition. I had some excitement at the start with David Ben-Jamin #706 giving a little wheelie and stubble on my front left, causing boy-wonder Cameron Gish #231 to make a move left directly in front of me in order to avoid him. Good thing Cameron is fast and wasn't going to hold me up, in fact he may part the seas for me. I found myself about 20th all said and done, just behind #144 Aleksandr Anatiychuk (last year's champion in middleweight, 2nd in heavyweight, and 3rd in lightweight). I poke my nose in on Aleksandr our first time in 14, but with #395 Mark Bregar on the outside ahead and Ben-Jamin on inside ahead of us, I didn't have a safe place to make a move. I tuck in behind Aleksandr down the straight and for the next lap we were caught behind Bregar until in turn 14 when Aleksandr makes a move on the inside of 14 and takes off, leaving me behind Bregar who simply run away from me in the straight section. Coming across the line I misread Georgia's signal and believe I have no one behind me, so I run a line to set up to pass Bregar into turn 2. But suddenly Genki Hagata #934 comes up the indie of me in turn 1.

The rest of the race consists of me working my way past Bregar in the following two laps. Then I work on catching Anatiychuk, and doing a good job. I cut down on him in every turn until on the last lap in turn 10 I decide I am going to make a move on the inside of 14. I get a good drive out of 13 and pull up beside him on the inside just before the bridge. Aleksandr hits his brakes and I quickly find myself in a chess game at triple digits. I can either brake deep and get ahead of him prior to the apex at 14, but he is likely to get a run in 15 and pass me in the straight because he can get on the gas as early as I get my him. Or, I can sit beside him and pace him into the turn, forcing him to sit on the outside giving me the inside and allowing me to stay on the fast line, forcing him to have to get off the throttle a little between 14 and 15, reducing his drive. I chose the later. It turned out to be a bad choice. Aleksandr came across my front from the outside and not only blocked me, but also got a good drive; I lose at the line by .164 seconds. I end up finishing 15th of 28 overall, and 3rd of the novices with a best time of 1:58.894. Upset at my bad decision, happy that my 1:58 wasn't a fluke. Video below, race starts at about 6:45.


http://contour.com/stories/afm-r7-thunderhill-sep1011-750-superbike--2

Formula 1

Gridded 14th on row 4. My start was good, but many around me had done better. On the first lap, I followed #935 Keith Stie and see in front of Keith guys I am quicker than pulling away from the two of us. Keith's bike has some power on me (what else is new) so I know I need to do it in a turn, and soon. Going into turn 8 I go to the inside, hang off the bike and hop that Keith sees me to the inside. Turn 8 is one of those turns which take more balls than sense. It is very fast and deceiving, with a bump at the apex. If something goes wrong it can be deadly, so I had to turn off the part of my mind which understands consequences and go for it.

After getting by Keith, the rest of the race consisted of me being caught behind #971 Tom Wilburt, who was caught behind #395 Mark Bregar. Once Wilburt got around Bregar, it left me poking and prodding at Bregar trying to find safe passage. But I end up watching Bregar light up his rear tire anytime we leave a turn, leaving me in the dust in the long runs of Thunderhill. The last lap I settled for finishing 18th overall out of 34 and pulled 2nd for the novices - plus another race in the 1:58s.


Formula 1 video, race begin at about 8:30: http://contour.com/stories/afm-r7-thunderhill-sep1011-formula-1--2

Nap Time

600 Superbike

600 Superbike was the last race of the day and I was never able to get more than a 5 minute nap all day. I decided going into the 600 Superbike race to try a change to the suspension, and the tire wear and my feel said that the suspension was holding me back from cutting another second off my times. So, we made some adjustments, and without having a chance to test them first I knew the first few laps would be slow until I got a feel for it.

Rolling up to the grid, I spaced out and rolled right passed my starting position on the 4th row (19th spot) and had to back myself up. Not a good omen going into a race. When the green flag drops, Ryder Morrison #755 gets a great start on my right but begins to head left in my direction. I immediately thought, "Oh no, not again" but luckily we didn't come together. I fall in behind the main pack and going into 3 I see #918 Alexander Azar sneak in on my outside. Knowing he is going to try and get me at the apex of 4, I begin to run a tight line early in 3 so I can get on the gas early an out run him to that point. Just as I begin to do this, the rider in front of me, Rob Brown #402, tucks his front and slides to the outside of the course, right in the way of Azar. This led to a red flag and stoppage of the race shortly thereafter. I heard after the race that they in fact did make contact, but no one was seriously injured. You can see the first part of the race in the video below, Griding begins at about the 5 minute mark:



http://contour.com/stories/afm-r7-thunderhill-sep1011-600sb-red-flag--2 



600 Superbike (restart)

In the one lap I got in before the red flag, I noticed my suspension change may have been a bad move. Of course, I didn't get up to full speed on the opening lap so hopefully I was wrong.

I got about the same start as the first go around, but everyone else took advantage of the restart and took off! The remainder of the lap I fell way off pace trying to feel out the new suspension set-up. I didn't want to find out about a lnew oss of traction somewhere on the track from a wreck. End of the second lap I make a pass on Eric Sterner #839 on the brakes entering to 14 and begin to try and get on the move. On the following lap, Aleksandr Anatiychuk #144 decides to do the same to me and he and I are back to battling again.

The remainder of the race consisted of me fighting two things, Anatiychuk and my new settings. We made an adjustment in the right manner, but we simply we a little to far. I begin planning my attack on Anatiychuk and sampling certain areas of the track. I come to the conclusion that I am going to go with has worked for me today and go for it in 14. So the final turn of the weekend I go in hard into 14. But rather than being so far inside, I go in more mid track and make my apex a little wide. This gives me a little bit more speed in between 14 and 15, plus it leaves Anatiychuk nowhere to make a move on me as he did earlier (lesson learned). We yet again have a battle down the front straight, I put my chin on the tank and shift as perfect as I can. It was down to the wire and I had no idea who won until later on when packing up Dave Moss told me that at the finish they announced it to be me by .012 of a second. Overall, 16th of 32 and 2nd for the novices. Below is the video of the restarted race in full:



http://contour.com/stories/afm-r7-thunderhill-sep1011-600sb-restart (begins at about the 7 minute mark)


So, I end this round feeling both pissed off about the ebb, and cheerful about the flow. I am not sure if I want to consider it a good or bad weekend. It is the strangest thing not knowing how to feel. This mixed bag of feelings makes me feel like I am manic-depressive, never knowing quite what to think.

Next month we are back at Thunderhill for the final race of the season; I need to get my motor back to full operating set-up. My goals are to cut one second off of my time, get better starts, opening laps (aka sack up and go!), and improve on passing instead of getting held up behind others.

Learned helplessness

First off, I want to give a BIG thank you to everyone who bought a raffle ticket and helped raise a few bucks for me to be able to get back out on the track for the most recent round. Without your help I would not be able to be writing this race report in the first place.



Learned helplessness: A technical term in animal psychology and related human psychology, means a condition of a human person or an animal in which it has learned to behave helplessly, even when the opportunity is restored for it to help itself by avoiding an unpleasant or harmful circumstance to which it has been subjected. Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

It has been quite some time since a real race update, considering the last two rounds consisted of a rain-out and a crash on the second lap of the first race. As a result, going into this race felt as though it was the beginning of season. I haven't ridden in quite some time, and started the fall semester the same week as this race. With a lot of the things going on in my life, my brain seemed to run out of capacity for acknowledging a race weekend was even upon us.

Leading up to this round, I had a few things which were of concern to me. First, we are at Thunderhill. Thunderhill is a fast, wide open track that rewards those with more umph in the motor department, not to mention the willingness to go into a turn with a lot of speed (or just the ignorance of consequences). My bike is down on power even within its own class, let alone when competing up a class. My 93 horsepower doesn't fare well against 130 horsepower 600cc bikes nor the 180 horsepower 1000cc guys. I also having this nagging problem of thinking about the fact that I have a lot on the line, and a high speed wreck could really ruin my work and school progress.

Turn 1 at speed, making some passes underneath. I am the first to come into the screen from the left.

Secondly, the fixes I made to the bike after the wreck had not been tested. The bike wasn't really set up at all. I wasn't even sure if the levers were in the right spot or if the front end was twisted up. I was really going out on a limb that my visual inspection was correct, because I wasn't going to get much of a chance to get it dialed in otherwise.

Finally, the race schedule for this weekend had me racing three races in a row on Saturday in 95 degree weather, as opposed to just the two with a 20-40 separation. This meant I would be going from parade lap to grid a couple times; this was both exciting and nerve-racking. I was excited because I really enjoyed the idea of testing my endurance and always wanted to run a solo endurance race of some sort. I have always thought I would do well because I seem to get faster as the race goes on, while others begin to fade. The only difference here would be that come race 2 and 3, I am the only one doing the endurance test while everyone else is fresh. It is nerve-racking because these were critical classes to me - middleweight, formula 1, and heavyweight.

Saturday practice was typical, me going slow and bitching about everything under the sun. Nothing seemed right. I had to play around with my front end a bit because it seemed "off". But after tearing it down and making sure everything was balanced and straight, I was only now sure it was just me.

Third practice came and discovered that not only was my rear tire finished but my front had expired. I knew before the day started that it would not last until the races (certainly not through three races in a row) and would need to be changed prior. However, when I went to change my tires I came to find their was some sort of miscommunication earlier and there was none of my front tire available. So I was forced to run a tire design which I was not familiar, for which did not have the suspension/geometry set-up, and didn't particularly want to run. I was only able to get a half a practice in with a tire which was not able to get on the warmers in time. Dave Moss and I discussed what I felt and what presuppositions we have about the affected behavior would be at speed and came to a "best guess" suspension set up with the new front/rear combo.

When first call for middleweight came across the P.A. system, I was filled with butterflies and doubt. I come to the grid on the 5th spot and remind myself that I must run hard to get at least a top five. I reminded myself I must carry a lot of speed into corners and not leave the door open for the power bikes. Green flag drops and I get a Sunday driver start. I get up to speed and am fortunate to have the inside position going into turn 1. However, some other participants don't understand how physics work and believe more than one object can occupy the same space simultaneously. On the start, Nicholas Altamura pulls up to my right side as we get up to speed, pacing down the straight. Just then, some one else came in on the left of me, leaving me mere inches of room on either side. The three of us barrel down the striaght and I am simply victim to whatever fate they determine for me. Suddendly, Nicholas leans left into me and hits my brake lever, causing my front end to wobble in displeasure. This of course lead to a slowing of my bike and Nicholas swinging back around in front of me going into turn 1. After regaining control of my bike, I found myself lacking the momentum needed going into turn 2.

This incident left me far back in the field, forcing me to work my way through traffic. I had to at one point during the race take my left hand off the bar while going down the back straight at full speed and bang on my lever on the right side of the bike so I can use my brake properly again. Once I did this, I was able to start chopping away at others in the turns, just to be pulled on during the straights. When the white flag came out, I had been whittling away at the lead #934, Genki Hagata, had pulled on me at the start. Had I had two more laps I could have had him, but I had to settle for my worst finish ( besides the DNF last round ) at 8th place with a sluggish 2:00.771.

When the chequer came out on the MW race I rushed back to the hot pits to fuel up and grab a sip of water before hitting the grid for the first Formula 1 race. I was very fortunate to have Quinton Jones #415 and Brad Gyger #630 help out in the pits, as my girlfriend couldn't help me put the bike on a stand or lift the fuel jug with her broken hand.

I rushed back out to the grid, rolled up just in time and went at it again. I had another slow start and got swallowed up in the first and second turn. Fortunately, I was already in race mode and ran a quick ( for me ) opening lap. I found myself getting caught up behind others however, because I would be able to carry more speed through the turns but during the exit would lose position to the faster bikes and be stuck behind again until the next turn. After I cleared a few of the people I needed to get around, I was in open land and figured I would be able to click off a fast lap. Just then, a familiar rival, #626 Gabrial Limon, ran his Ducati 848 up the hill from turn 8 to 9 and got in front of me. The next few laps consisted of me showing him a wheel in the turns and exits, only to be outran. On the final lap I tried a move which had been working well for me all day, the entry pass on the brakes at turn 14. I went in at a speed which would enable me to pass and hold speed (hopefully enough for a run to the line) but Gabrial turned in slightly earlier than he had prior, and I had to sit up and load the brakes to just miss t-boning him my a foot or two. I was able to reel it back in and come in behind him. I am glad I didn't wreck, but I am mostly glad I didn't hit Gabrial. I finished 3rd for the novices and 16th overall.

Once again, I rushed back to the pit for fuel and fluid. This race was the heavyweights. I was having to go up against 1000cc and larger bikes who could simply turn the throttle and disappear. I felt a little worn but still in ok shape. I wasn't so much tired as I was mentally worn and frustrated with my riding. This race grid formed a lot faster than the last and I almost missed the start, literally 2 seconds more and I would have missed the race!

My start was better than my last two, but the short straight between 1 and 2 served as a catalyst for the big bikes to fly by. I found myself behind a few familiar faces, such as Charles Finch #953 on his R1 and Peter Fry #952, also on an R1. I was able to make some moves on the brakes and on the dirty areas on the outside of some turns. I quickly saw the front pack take off and knew this was going to be interesting. The thing with heavyweight versus middleweight is when I am stuck behind someone in HW which I am faster than in the turns, when the big bike opens it up on the exit they get going quick enough where they don't get in my way at the exit point. Whereas, a 750cc or 600cc bike which is more powerful than me is not as powerful as the 1000cc, and as such the difference occurs later in the exit and sometimes it can lead to me having to back off a little to prevent us coming together. However, when I go by a 1000cc, they come back in the straight with a vengeance and blow my doors off. By the end of this squabble, I was able to pull a 5th place out of the ordeal.

After coming in from this race I was surprised how well I felt after three races in a row in the hot temperature. Yes, had I gone faster I likely would be more tired, but I felt I could have ran 4 or 5 in a row. So while I was upset with my lap time performance, I was happy with my mental and physical endurance.

Sunday began with and incident which summarized the entire weekend in my mind.

600 superbike was up first. I was gridded 20th - fifth row, right next to the wall. When the green flag dropped I was happy with my start, it felt much better than my others had the day before. I kept a good pace with the bike to my left side on the grid giving no ground to the bike with the fancy paint job (I think #287 Cole Crowley). I planned on staying outside, away from the chaos, and try to keep my speed up around turns 1 and 2 to put me in a position for 3. All of a sudden from my left side a bike barreled in between Cole and myself, directly into my side breaking my clutch lever and bending the remaining bit of lever into the sky. My bike's bars slapped back and forth against the gas tank and started going right at the wall. The first thing that came to my mind was the big wreck a year ago where a fellow racer broke his back from the exact same thing. I thought for sure I was a goner.

On-board video of the 600 superbike race: http://contour.com/stories/afm-r6-thunderhill-aug2728-600-superbike  (advance to 6:45 for the beginning of the race)

I fell to the back of a huge grid and for the first lap had to up shift and down shift without a clutch lever. When I finally made it to the front straight, everyone in the stands said they saw me beating on the clutch lever trying to pound it back in place. As soon as could, I cleared my mind and did what I could to salvage another bad start. I finished 5th for the novices, 26th out of 41 overall.

I came in from the race, ripped off my gear and went over to find the guy who hit me. I went by his pit and could not find him. I was furious and determined to make this guy feel his life was threatened as much as mine was. On my way back from the unsuccessful venture, my girlfriend found me and told me that the other rider had come by to apologize when I went to find him. Her telling me this made me feel a lot better, the simple action of realizing and acknowledging one's own mistakes goes a long way in my book. Later my attacker came by during social hour at my pit area and we were able to work things out. Now I just need to go faster next time and beat him.

A few races later and my second formula 1 race was being called to the grid. I was gridded against the wall again in 16th place, and the fear of that damn start against the wall quickly entered my mind. With the way things have been going, I thought for sure I was going to be hit yet again.

My actual start was good, but at the end of the straight before turn one the Sadowski brothers came flying by along with a few others whose motors flung them into turn 1 before me. I found myself behind a few familiar bikes and began to plan a few things. Going into turn 5, I noticed Sam Richards #272 was two spots in front of me. I knew that if I can get around the guy in front of me, I can use Sam to try and cut a few seconds and get back on pace; as he and I are usually in the same ballpark of speed and riding style. Just then #756 George Myshlyayev flew by on the inside of 5 which made me sit it up and back off the throttle for a second. I knew I couldn't keep up with him, so I simply hoped I can keep up for a little and he would make a move on the inside of others and the passed riders would leave the door open for me to slide under them. Basically I wanted him to part the seas for me. George is just too damn fast though and took off right away. After picking off the people I could, I worked on trying to catch up with the pack in the distance; it was rather boring. Towards the end though, #626 Gabrial Limon once again makes the run on me up the hill from 8 to 9. I proceed to chase him down the best I can, and on the last turn of the race I come in hard like before, but avoid rushing his inside (wasn't going to push my luck on that one again) and hopefully be able to make something of the run out of 15. I do just that and leaving 15 I am up on his tail catching a draft. Gabrial looks over his left shoulder just as I am pulling out of the draft to his right and simply turns his right wrist and walks away from me, his 848 too much for me in the straight. I finished 4th of the novices, and 16th of 31 overall.

Formula 1 on-board: http://contour.com/stories/afm-r6-thunderhill-aug2728-formula-1 (race starts at 7:00)

The very last race on the schedule for the day is 750 superbike. This race was frankly quite boring. I started average, got passed in the beginning by the usual suspects and for the usual reasons. Sure enough Gabrial passed me going up the hill into 9 again. Then I worked my way back into chase mode. But, for the most part I ran on my own. I scored points and went home, just a boring race to finish the day - sorry. But I did finish 4th for the novices and 15th overall.

750 Superbike on-board: http://contour.com/stories/afm-r6-thunderhill-aug2728-750-superbike--2 (race starts at 7:00)

The Sunday following this weekend of Dan riding slow, I went and did a trackday at Thunderhill. I woke up early in morning and drove up for a day of retreat. My goal for the day was to simply get my feel back. I rode all day on a tire which was so trashed that I had to flip it backwards to have some meat on the left side for the second half of the day. Funny thing was, I ran quicker than any lap I ran during the race weekend!

It made me think about what happened during the race weekend. I kept making the same mistakes all day and never seemed to be able to not make the same mistake every lap; I froze mentally. Then I realized that the difference was in my perception of things; at the trackday I was just having fun and enjoying the ride. The races have started to feel like work and not play. When I first started racing, I simply went out, had fun and did my best. Now I seem to eliminate the feeling of fun the moment something doesn't go to plan. Yes, I am a competitive person and strive to do my best, but I must remember why I am doing this in the first place. I work around motorcycles all day, I need to remember that when i am racing I am not at the shop. I need to remember to smile and enjoy that I am doing something which only a small fraction of people can say they have done even once in their life. I need to realize plateaus and bad days happen, but not to let one bad day create another. The simple perception of racing as work has given me a case of learned helplessness. It is time to re-learn and bring the fun back.